Wednesday, April 13, 2016

My Grandpa

For several months my Grandpa was suffering from a severe pain in his leg that we found out was cancer. After lots of appointments with different doctors/Oncologists, they discovered the cancer was all over his body. Several weeks ago we were told he only had a few weeks to live.
He passed away on Friday at 3:16pm at the most wonderful Hospice center. He was surrounded by those who loved him.
The funeral was on Sunday. By the grace of God I was able to stand up and say some things about my Grandpa. It was so hard because he was one of my best friends and I didn't know if I'd be able to do it. But I did.
I wanted to share here what I said because it's so different for me when I tell someone I lost him and they say, "Oh yeah, I understand, I've been there, too." I realize they're being nice and understandable and everything, but they don't really understand the relationship I had with him, so I wanted to let people know.

"For someone to lose their grandfather is a terribly sad thing.
You tell people that you’re losing him or have lost him and they say they understand because they went through it as well.
Maybe, but that’s not the case with me.
My grandpa was not just my grandfather; he was my best friend. I haven’t lost a man who was just my grandfather; I lost a man who was my best friend, my buddy, my boyfriend, my confidant, AND my grandpa. I don’t think one finds the combination in a grandfather that often. But, that was our relationship. We weren’t just grandfather and granddaughter, we were cohorts, buddies, best friends. We both love joking and being funny. When he would tell me I was pretty, I would tell him how pretty he is and he would get this innocent look on his face and just say, “Oh, you’re just saying that ‘cause it’s true.” I was his special chef, anything he wanted that Memaw was unable to make, I would make. His favorites were my pumpkin cheesecake and banana pudding. Those were always his requests when I asked him what he wanted. I do believe, when it comes to those two things, he was my biggest fan. It won’t be as fun anymore to make them because he won’t get to enjoy them, but the rest of my family will, and he’ll be too busy praising God with my other loved ones that I’ve lost to think about food. How I look forward to seeing him walk again!
It was always my dream for him to be at my wedding and I once told him that he needed to stay here so he could be the first one to hold my baby, but, obviously, God had other plans. All of that would have been a special thing to me, but, what’s even more special to me is that he is walking along in Heaven now and he is no more pain. My greatest comfort is knowing that he is with my Jesus and I will see him again one day. Though, I have to admit I’m a bit jealous of my other loved ones in Heaven that will see him walk again before I do….but, it’s something to look forward to.
Seeing him at hospice was so painful for all of us. There were times when my family and I would be talking about something (usually something goofy, because that’s just the way we are) and I would often say something to him to include him in the conversation, particularly that our jokes are not as funny as his and we need his expertise; he was asleep the whole time, but I like to think he heard us anyway.
Those are sad things to remember, but I have so many good memories with him that I will cherish forever. It will be sad to not have him at my wedding or the birth of my first child, but I also, secretly, feel blessed that I had him all to myself for 26 years.
He is my hero and I will miss him more than one could possibly imagine, because, he wasn't just a grandfather to me, he was so much more."

That was my Grandpa. He was such an incredible man and I miss him dearly and can't wait to see him again one day!

Grace be with you.